When did the world turn into the set of Gossip Girl? When did my life get tossed in the air like a giant Blair Waldorf salad? And the jokes on me because I'm the latecomer, party-pooper, girl who takes three months to make up her mind. Yeah I'm that girl. The fool girl who puts her foot in it.
And the crux of the matter is this:
I kissed a guy only to find out he's sleeping with my best friend.
Yeah ouch.
Actually ouch doesn't really cover it. There's a gif somewhere on the internet of some actor literally pulling bunches of hair from their head in a purple rage that just about describes how it feels. And did I mention that this mess has got to be all my fault?
So this is me: some blue-eyed damsel, pretty new to the world, so naive she probably should have been put in a convent years ago for her own protection.
And then there's my best friend: a golden locked Rapunzel living up on the fourth floor of a city tower.
And then there's the other best friend- the guy: a tall Robin Hood with a laptop but no good intentions.
The three of us were the closest of close: to the point where personal space doesn't really exist and who cares if you're wearing clothes or not right?
That was until shit hit the fan.
One rowdy Thursday evening me, eyes wide, walked in on my two best friends kissing. I thought the honey-coloured drinks had gotten to their heads. I went home. Little did I know what my friends were up to without me.
The next day I bounced into Rapunzel's tower at midday to find two sleepy, hungover friends - one of them a shirtless Robin Hood. Nothing of course was thought of it, especially when Rapunzel looked me in the eye and said everything between her and Robin Hood was normal. And I, naive little chickadee that I am, sat on Rapunzel's bed and ate lunch with them like all was hunky dory.
And there was nothing weird about Robin Hood giving me a lift home after lunch. Nothing weird about the way he pulled the passenger seat back all the way so that sitting behind me he could wrap his arms around me and whisper in my ear...
Yeah everything was normal... sort of... in the way where everything is abnormal instead.
A couple of friendly meetings later it became time for another small gathering involving that golden liquid: alcohol. It was a rowdy Wednesday this time and poor little me had had enough of alcohol for a while. I decided to bus it in and out for a brief rendezvous. And guess what happened after I left the tower?
So as it happens I once again bounced into the tower the next day completely unawares. It was afternoon tea time with two hungover friends and another shirtless Robin Hood. Life as normal right? Again I sat on that bed with the two of them. Eating, talking, laughing. I don't know how I'm so dim.
Now I may be dim at this stuff but I do pretty well at university. So when Friday brought about another planned drinking event I passed in favour of passing university and finishing an assignment. Two drunk individuals did in fact go however, out to the back woods of the city. And afterwards they stumbled back to Robin Hood's hideout under the stars. I think we know what happened next.
The following night I put on my best and most foolish pinafore and ventured into the back woods myself. It was a night that was planning to be just me, Robin Hood and a gaggle of distinguished friends. Though the golden liquor ran quickly the whole night I steered clear once again, preferring the company of better friends. Notably Robin Hood did the same.
At this point in time I still valued friendship - believed it and trusted in it. So when it got late I followed Robin Hood to his hideout under those same pretty stars. I could say I was starry-eyed: surely there is no other explanation for the foolishness that followed. We were so close. Think of the closest you've ever been to someone without kissing them and then subtract ten centimeters. So I kissed him. Why ever not, I thought, and did it without regrets.
In that exact same spot.
I was so utterly oblivious that the other shoe was about to drop- with a spiked steel toe.
It didn't take long. Not twelve hours later Rapunzel confesses all that has occurred and my stomach drops. I should have known. Why trust anyone when they'll obviously just let you down?
Now I'm stuck under Gossip Gil's thumb in a situation like a damn Celtic knot with thorns. What am I going to do with myself?
When in Rome I guess...
I shall have to learn from the Blair Bitch herself.
I'll close this window and start my scheming.
Robin Hood
you'll be the first to go
xoxo
Gossip Girl
